That is the tagline for A. Lee Martinez’s third book entitled A Nameless Witch. Martinez is known for his humor and this book does not disappoint. Whether it is the homicidal tendencies of Newt, the demonic duck, the ridiculous fables of Gwurm, a troll, or the cannibalistic desires of the nameless witch, this book will leave you smiling.
Many generations back, the witch’s family was cursed and it left her with beauty and eternal youth, two things that are very unbecoming for a witch. Her mentor, Ghastly Edna saves her from a family who keeps her locked up in the basement. Years later, Edna is murdered and the witch goes on a quest for vengeance. Accompanied by Newt, Gwurm, an enchanted broom named Penelope, and Wyst the white knight, she goes to stop a mad wizard who wants to end the world.
While every book by Martinez that I have read ends with a potential apocalypse that the heroes always managed to prevent, A Nameless Witch is one of my favorites. I’m not sure if it’s as good as Gil’s All Fright Diner, but maybe one day I’ll compare them.
For the most part, the characters were well rounded and entertaining. If anything I would have given more depth to Wyst. Sure he’s the first attractive male that the witch has ever seen in her life, but I don’t really understand why she loves him or why it should even be classified as true love. Newts’s murderous shenanigans were hilarious and he was by far my favorite character.
I was a little disappointed with the ending, for reasons I cannot say because then I would be spoiling and spoilers are evil. In the end, I enjoyed this book. In my opinion, it was a little better than In the Company of Ogres and not a waste of time like Monster.